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The Scariest Story You Will Never Read
I'm a Creepypasta fan. Just like every person on the internet. I've always read the stories and listened to the bronies who make channels about them almost every day of the week. And over the years, I've wanted to make my own Creepypasta. The first thing I did was look up a tutorial on it. The guy in the video had a pornstar mustache, and spoke with an Indian accent. He said: "My penis gets hard for Creepypastas. Now right me one, communist." I felt my penis getting harder, and I was in the mood to write a pasta. I sat my ass down on the computer which I didn't use anymore, because my family always uses old computers as chairs. If you don't, you are a weeaboo. I went to the Creepypasta Wiki, which is like any wiki, but made for communists like me. I spent three years writing the pasta, and when I was done, I came on the laptop to celebrate. Week old milk shot out of my penis onto the screen. I could feel the pleasure going throughout my body, and my hands were shaking as if I had fooking Parkinson's disease. I uploaded the pasta, and 0.000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001 seconds later, I got a message saying: "Your pasta is too fucking creepy. I will come to your house, commy. I was shocked, and my house was set on fire hyperrealisticly after I read the message. I thought nothing of it, and I went to my TV to play GTA V. When I got on, the first thing I did was go to the strip club. I saw all of the girls there in there sexy as Hell outfits, I came again. I installed a mod to make the girls fart, and I could feel pleasure in my ass and penis. But, then, I saw the man who sent the message in the game, and he said: "Punish." I shot him in the dick, and I punched the TV and broke it, which was the only TV left in my red neck as fuck piece of shit town. I went to bed because I'm a Goddamn millennial and didn't have anything left to do after my electronics were gone. I could feel a light breeze on my back, and I turned around to see what it was. It was the monster I had written of in my Creepypasta. Mutahar Anas. I was so happy. Mutahar said: "Let's play some fucking video games, ladies and gentlemen." He stuck his penis in my asshole, and I farted on his daddy dick. He said: "Slut. Fuck you." He then pulled his shit covered penis out of my ass and looked at me straight in the eyes. "I was the one who took down your pasta." My erection went away and I became angry. "It was a harmless prank," he said, but I didn't give a flying fuck about his apologies. I raped him, as I could visibly see his eyes water hyperrealistically. When I was done, I came in his nose, and I said: "Alu Akbar." When I said that, I could feel the ground below me shaking. The earth started to rumble. It was as if it had eating a bunch of burritos and was talking to me. I grabbed onto the front of Mutahar's shirt, and I said: "What the hell did you do?" Muta said: "Ninja doesn't know what ligma means." After papa said that, I could hear a hyperrealistic explosion coming from the distance. The ground beneath Mutahar cracked so much, that it formed a giant gaping hole below him. I grabbed on to Mutahar's arms tightly. "I won't let you die," I said to Muta. "No. I deserve this. After what I did to you. It's time for me to go now. Let a new generation of papas live on." With that, Mutahar grabbed a knife and stabbed my hand, which was now spurting hyperrealistic red blood, almost neon. The shock of the blow meant that I lost grip of Mutahar, and I sadly dropped him into the fiery abbis and I could hear Mutahar screaming like a girl as he slowly fell into the flames, and then burnt to death. I could feel the most tears I ever felt in my eyes. I had killed Mutahar. I could have stopped it, but I didn't. I wanted to die after what I had done, but my dad came running in the room. "Pack your bags!" My dad said. "We need to get out of here before the entire family gets sucked into the fifth portal of Hell!" I did what he said, though, reluctantly, seeing as how we had just moved into this house after I burned down the last one. But, it turns out, we were too late. When we got out of the house, all of the ground below us was gone, and all that was left was a hole into space. Luckily, my dad was an astronaut, so he ran into the house to get space gear so we could breath for as long as possible before we would undoubtedly perish. Dad got out of the house, and he put on his gear, then gave the rest of it to us. Me and my mom had put our gear on, but my brother was so slow, that he was only a third of the way there. "Hurry up, Brian!" I yelled out to my brother, but he didn't listen to me, and the black hole below us started to suck in everything, including my brother. My brother was choking because of there being no air, and I probably should have helped, but I decided that seven point sixty four billion people was enough that losing just one life was okay. My mom and dad were red with anger after I let my brother get sucked into the black hole, but I was thinking about Nicki Manaj while they were yelling at me. I was completely fazed out. It would be almost unfair to try to talk to me while I was thinking about Nicki Manaj. While I was doing that, a black hole formed beside my mom and dad, and they were sucked into it while nearly losing their voices while screaming. Now, it was just me. Or, at least, that's all who I knew who was still left, because I was a classic millennial, and didn't have any other friend other than my friends on Minecraft, and this one dude named I don't deserve subs. I started getting sucked into the black hole below me, but just out of the corner of my eye, I noticed that one blonde stripper from GTA V with the huge boobs. While I didn't know her name, she was still my favorite, and I would often post story to fanfiction.com describing how much of a slut she was and how her pussy was so old it tasted like raisins. She came up to me, and she said: "I can breathe in space, so let's get this done." She took of the bottom half of my spacesuit, and my boner grew to the size of my old house, which was Bruce Wayne's previous mansion. She turned around to show me her ass, and I ripped her outfit off. I could see her face getting slightly red from me ripping all of her clothing off. I told her: "Where do you want it?" Although I knew exactly where I was going to put it whether she liked it or not. She said: "My pussy, sir." I said: "Okay, baby," but I put it a little further up. She said: "What the hell? That's my shithole!" She couldn't take the poundings I was giving her, and she was queefing like crazy. I came into her as, and I pulled out my dick to see the cum leaking of her ass. I slapped her right cheek so hard that it bled all over space, and it turned purple. She died, and I was forced to use her body as food in this apocalyptic wasteland with almost no ground in sight. Ten years later... A decade has pasted since those horrible events, and I don't know what I'm going to do. My dad said the spacesuit had nine years of air in it, so it was a wonder that I was still alive, and only a matter of time until I died. Then, I noticed, Imaru from SomeOrdinaryGamers. His hair was slightly graying, and his beird was so long that it reached his dick. I said: "Oh my God. Thank you for coming for me." Imaru said: "What you did to Muta will be paid for. You killed what many of the remaining population consider the God of our half planet, and now he's dead. How does that make you feel? I was sad that he was dead, yes, but I had gotten over it, especially seeing as how it was a full ten years later. I said to Imaru: "I'm sorry for your loss, but that was over a decade ago. I can't do much more for you if you can't take that apology." Imaru's frown went away, and his face morphed into a grin. "Alright," Imaru said. "Alright." "So... you're not mad?" "No. I'm very mad, and you're gonna pay for what you did to my friend. Meet me at the Arena midnight." With that, he floated away. The Arena was the only arena left in the apocalyptic wasteland that was left after I destroyed half of the world. It was hours away, but the people of Earth learned too run at one thousand miles per hour with training when the apocalypse started. That night, I got to the Arena, smashing into several innocent people on the way because I simply didn't give a shit after the world nearly ended. When I got there, Imaru wasn't there, and I was confused. Then, behind me, I could feel something meaty on my bum. It was Imaru. I punched him in the face, and he took out a lightsaber. I didn't have one, so I just kept deflecting his blows whenever he tried to get me. When he was done with the slashes, I said: "I have a secret weapon." I used my Minecraft inventory to spawn in a Delorean, which also had abilities to make you look younger, so I made myself look twelve again, and I floored the thing at eighty eight mile per hour, and I spawned back to my home before I created the pasta. And everything was lovely once again. Wonderful, but having ten more years under my belt meant that my adult jokes cost me a few trips to Chuck E Cheese's, but I was just glad to not be floating around in space with no internet. Category:Originally on Trollpasta Wiki Category:Satire Category:WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT Category:Look at me! I'm SO EDGY!